On the slab today we have a nasty bit of old school French horror, and we’re not talking about eating snails. It’s released on DVD on 12 May, courtesy of Second Sight, for £19.99.

The Blurb:

Guilt ridden after recklessly crashing his car and leaving his daughter severely disfigured, celebrated plastic surgeon Dr Gennesier becomes obsessed with restoring her beauty by transplanting a new face onto her mutilated features. Aided by his devoted assistant Louisa, young woman are lured back to his home to become unwitting ‘donors’ in his horrific procedures.

Although too much for many critics of the day to stomach, Franju’s masterpiece is now considered to be one of the greatest, most influential and disturbing horror films ever made.

We Say:

One of the last few genuine cult classics to make its way onto DVD, you can bet we’re putting a happy face on this one. Unless some French loony carves it off and sticks it on his daughter. Jordan will approve…

It's a French/Thai martial arts movie!

Released by Pecadillo Pictures, and due to hit the shelves on 26 May, it's "An entertaining true-life story" Says the Hollywood Reporter. Talk about damning with faint praise...

The Blurb:

Dida Diafat, a French born boxing champion, plays Ryan, a rebellious punk whose time in prison is about to come to an end. During his time behind bars, he was taught the deadly art of Thai boxing by fellow con Jean. The action hurtles between Paris and Bangkok as Ryan battles various fighting champions, all competing to take him down and claim the title. Along the way he meets Kim, Jean's long lost daughter who takes a shine to him, and a variety of ruffians and criminals who threaten to derail his committment to the sport. A gripping true-life story that follows the rise of a jailbird thug to world renowned boxer, Chok Dee is an action-packed fight fest where throwing in the towel is not an option.

We say:

Another action-packed fight-fest, eh? Yawn. Still we're enticed by the talk of rebellious punks and ruffians...

It's a Chilean martial arts movie!

Released by Revolver Entertainment on 5 May, KILTRO is 'fast-paced action from South America laced with the spirit of Spaghetti Westerns'.

The Blurb:

Chile’s first ever martial arts movie is a romantic action epic, starring legendary stuntman Marko Zaror, as Zamir, a two-fisted street fighter who is in love with the beautiful Kim (Caterina Jadresic), whom he once saved from a brutal assault.
 
When Kim’s father, who runs a local Tae Kwon Do school, is confronted by a villain from his past, Zamir vows to protect his beloved and her father – but first he must travel to a remote desert for spiritual and physical training by an aging fight master, a violent gangster out to avenge the killing of his mother.

“Spectacular… keep an eye out for Zaror, a talent this obvious won’t be denied for long’ TWITCH.NET
 
“Zaror has the moves and chops to become the Next Big Thing in the action-hero field” FANGORIA.COM

We say:

It's a Chilean martial arts movie!!!!

KILTRO's Mark Zaror: Check his mean kebab knives...

Thursday’s Disc Of The Day is The Oh In Ohio – “One of the sweetest, smartest sex comedies I’ve ever seen,” according to The Boston Globe (whoever he is)... Wait, did they say SEX?? What’s that forming the ‘I’ in Ohio on the sleeve? And what’s with all the fireworks and skyscrapers-between-legs...?

For its cast alone, The Oh In Ohio intrigues: Parker Posey, Paul Rudd, Mischa Barton, Danny DeVito, Liza Minnelli and Heather Graham – a list that starts out cool, goes weird, then finishes up cool again. Cool...

The Blurb:

Cleveland advertising executive Priscilla Chase (Posey) seems to have it all – a successful career, a beautiful house and the ideal husband in biology teacher Jack (Rudd). [Come on, where’s the sex?] In fact, the only shortcoming [snigger] in her life occurs in the bedroom [ah, there it is...], where a serious case of sexual dysfunction prevents her from experiencing the orgasmic “Oh!” factor that would make her life perfect... [I see, hence the title. Clever...]

We say:

Okay, this goes on a bit. Basically, hubby Rudd feels inadequate, starts having ‘the odd sneaky beer while teaching class’ and ends up seeking ‘much needed self-esteem’ from Barton’s student floozy. In despair, Posey turns to Minnelli’s sex guru then Graham’s ‘lesbian sex shop assistant’... So now it’s getting interesting... except for the mention of De Vito’s character ‘Wayne the Pool Guy’, who helps Priscilla discover ‘that happiness is sometimes found in the most unlikely places’... Urgh!

We really hope we haven’t ruined this DVD for you now. But, guess what, Mr The New York Times called it a “nice naughty indie full of unexpected pleasures” while Ms Variety said it “blithely blurs the line between risqué and raunchy” (nice alliteration, show off...)

Doesn’t sound too bad, eh?

The Oh In Ohio is released on 14 April by Showbox Home Entertainment. Look out for our review really soon, in which we’ll try to be a little less sarcastic. We promise...

A slight change for today’s Disc Of The Day – we’ve picked out a DVD that actually looks half-decent.

Gary Oldman and Paddy Considine in the same film? The Backwoods already sounds like our cup of super-strong, British builders’ tea – albeit stirred with a Spanish spoon (that'd be director Koldo Serra).

The Blurb:

There are hunters and prey…that’s the only truth in this world.

It’s summer 1978:  Norman (Paddy Considine) and Lucy (Virginia Ledoyen) are an English couple who are going through a difficult patch in their relationship, and so decide to spend the summer with their friend Paul (Gary Oldman) in the north of Spain. 

Very much off the beaten track, their friend’s house seems ideal for a peaceful holiday. 

But their tranquil summer turns to horror when they discover a girl with horribly deformed hands locked away in a cabin in the woods.  Filthy and unable to talk, the girl is obviously terrified and so the couple decide to take her to the police.

A group of local villagers however have other ideas and refuse to let the girl go, pursing the holidaymakers through the forest and taking them into a whirlpool of violence.

We say:

The fact that it’s an ‘atmospheric, psychological’ revenge thriller in the ’70s Straw Dogs/Get Carter vein with a sleeve on which a moustache-sporting Oldman and Considine clutch double-barrel shotguns and we’re practically chomping at the bit to see it.

Only the fact that Serra’s flick didn’t exactly make a splash at theatrical level makes us a touch wary that it may not actually be the new Dead Man’s Shoes.

The Backwoods is released on DVD on 19 May by Momentum Pictures. Look out for our review in a future issue of DVD Review.

Plucked from the teetering stack of check discs sent to us here at DVD Review towers, today's Disc Of The Day is Jane Doe, a 'breathless thriller' from producer Joel Silver starring Teri Hatcher and Rob Lowe. It's released by Metrodome on 7 April.

Okay, so maybe you're sensing a theme after yesterday's inaugural Disc Of The Day, MEGASNAKE. That's right, we're just picking out the discs that have faintly dodgy sounding titles and premises that make us giggle. However, we just had to select Jane Doe due to this unfortunate typo (we assume) on the press release:

"Metrodome are proud to be releasing Jane Doe from the legendary producer of The Matrix and Did Hard"

Did Hard? Is that the missing John McClane prequel in which a hirsute Bruce Willis pluckily scrambles his way through '70s police academy? Anyway, here's what the rest of it says...

The Blurb:

See The Desperate Housewife as you've never seen her before!

Framed for murder, running from the law, out for revenge. What Jane knows might kill her... if she doesn't get them first.

Woken suddenly one otherwise normal morning, Jane Doe [what, is that her real name?!] finds herself on the business end of a gun and the terrifying threat that her son will die if she doesn't follow a set of instructions to the letter...

Something to do with 'breaking out secret files...', 'a merciless assassin...', 'a deadly secret...', etc, etc...

We say:

What, is that her real name?! Clearly the movie lull before Hatcher and Lowe's televisual renaissance. Still, we might be surprised...

Look out for our review in a future issue of DVD Review.

Good morning and welcome to dvdreview.co.uk’s first ever Disc Of The Day – where we pick out the most interesting review disc to arrive in the morning’s DVD Review post bag. And today’s Disc Of The Day is the awesome-sounding MEGASNAKE!

Debuting on DVD on 21 April through Revolver Entertainment, MEGASNAKE is apparently an ‘adrenaline-fuelled B-movie horror’ starring Michael Shanks (Stargate SG-1).

The Blurb:

‘Don’t Feed It. Don’t Fear It. And Whatever You Do, Don’t Let It Out.

‘When an ancient snake is stolen from its Native American handler, it comes with three very important rules: don’t let it out of the jar, don’t let it eat anything living, and never fear the heart of the snake. Of course, the first two rules get broken and it’s not long before the out-of-control reptile has grown into a 40 foot monster with an insatiable appetite for human flesh.’

We say:

Sounds like Gremlins meets Godzilla via Snakes On A Plane. And that packshot is fantastic. Contender for guilty pleasure of 2008? Give it up for MEGASNAKE!

Look out for our review in a forthcoming issue of DVD Review.